The Hand That I Got Dealt / 2000

alone and walking
through this stormy night
searching for your hand
so that I can hold it tight
as soon as I have found you
it seems you always disappear
but I always end up finding you
at least once every year
now once again I’ve found you
and I’m trying to hold on
scared that I might lose you
when the night turns into dawn
the night has now been broken
it’s dawn and still I hold you close
but someone tries to hold me back
from the one that I have chose
I’m so frightened to stand up
for what I know is right for me
I’m just looking for an easy way
to make that someone see
that I know I don’t know everything
but I know how to follow my heart
and even if this is a mistake
it won’t need help tearing me apart
there are many things that feel so wrong
but some wrongs make a right
why can’t she just open up her eyes
and catch a small glimpse of the light
that surrounds me with laughs and smiles
and feelings that should often be felt
instead of trying to shuffle back
the hand that I got dealt

Frozen / 2000

clouded, icy memories
of you in my dreams
haunting me and laughing
as my tears fill up the seas
mocking me and pointing
driving me insane
desperately searching
for a way to kill the pain
swelling starting in my heart
as love fills up the hole
following the river
that once flowed through my soul
smiles mixing in with tears
no emotions fit
everything just crying out
a candle yearning to be lit

Secret Fantasy / 2000

the moonlight glints across your eyes
my tears have stained your cheeks
your lips have stolen so much from me
your love has made my heart leak

Forbidden / 2000

mesmerized
infatuated
by the very thought of you

softly, sweetly
whispering
what I feel for you
is truth

please don’t go
don’t run away
I need you so much
tell me you’ll stay

speak to me
say you’ll take me
take me and my heart
which shouts your name with every beat

swallowing
engulfing
passion fills my soul

waiting
pleading for you
to listen
so that you will finally know

Emotion / 2000

I can’t forget
although I try
it takes all my strength
not to cry

what happened between us
was meant to be
why can’t we be more
than just you and me

I know you’re scared
and so am I
but we’ll never get anywhere
unless we try

it hurts too much
to let you go
why did I let
my feelings show

and let you know
how special you are
that you alone
are my shining star

I know this isn’t
a one way street
you showed me that
when our lips did meet

and now that we’ve
performed this task
there’s one question
I must ask

why don’t you feel
the way I do

why have I fallen
in love
with you

Silence / 2000

Silence sitting so quietly
an emotion so often unheard
feelings locked inside a frightened heart
scared to break free and see the world

pounding on the locked door
soft at first, but growing fierce
screams, kicks, and a sobbing soul
desperately trying to escape the prison

thousands of keys but no hole to unlock
doorways glued to hinges and corners
glued tightly
trapping love, joy and complete self worth
keeping them out of the light
unseen in the darkness

the kicks stop
the screams halt
the pounding ceases to exist

Silence escaped through the window
no longer is she unheard
free to tell tales of locked rooms
inside a once frightened soul

Set Me Free / 2000

locked is the room inside my heart
you’ve been there far too long
controlling the beats that sound for you
blocking the entrance to my soul

while I just sit here
outside the closed door
waiting for the day it will open
and I will get through

I will enter your hopes and dreams
pass your fears and worries
into the vault in the back of your mind
where you hide your most secret fantasies

don’t worry
             I won’t tell
                   you’ve meant too much
                                                        to me

please will you exit my heart
no longer torture my mind
this world won’t keep me
thinking only of you

I beg you, go for good this time
fail to ever return
block my entrance from your mind
set my bleeding heart free